


there'll be happiness

by slytherbyun



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Break Up, Five Stages of Grief, Heavy Angst, Implied depressive episode, Inspired by Music, Introspection, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, modeled after the five stages of grief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:47:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28127856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slytherbyun/pseuds/slytherbyun
Summary: Wonwoo's journey after the break-up with the love of his life.Or alternatively, a breakup told in the five stages of grief.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu
Kudos: 36





	there'll be happiness

**Author's Note:**

> tw // implied depressive episode
> 
> I would advise you to listen to [happiness](https://open.spotify.com/track/73YUReisjb3A9ActdLLjJQ) by Taylor Swift while reading this.

**_Stage 1: Denial_ **

_And in the disbelief, I can’t face reinvention_

Wonwoo didn’t know where to begin.

The first thing he noticed when he woke up was the empty spot beside him. The gravity of what happened weighed down on him with this realization--that Mingyu was gone.

Mingyu left him. For good.

That fight last night was the last straw in the series of arguments they’ve been having recently. As Wonwoo looked back, it wasn’t even about something major. It was a petty squabble about something they ate last night. It blew up until eventually, they’ve just rehashed all the pent-up frustration they’ve had about their decaying relationship.

He didn’t want to stand up. He wanted to just stay in bed and hide under the covers.

_It still smells like you, Gyu._

The rest of the day passed by like a blur. Wonwoo kept crying, not wanting to believe that this was over. That the love they claimed to be the one to best the odds just crumbled before his very eyes. He just wouldn’t have it. He kept thinking Mingyu will come back and make up with him, apologizing for the fight, and they’ll be okay again.

But Mingyu never showed up.

Wonwoo wanted to believe he’ll come around. _He’ll come back._

All the calls went straight to voicemail, and the text messages were left unanswered. Wonwoo just straight up hugged the pillow that still smelled like Mingyu, reminding him that he existed. That he was real.

That he’ll come back.

_Spoiler: he never did._

~•~•~•~•~

**_Stage 2: Anger_ **

_Sorry, I can’t see facts through all of my fury_

“Wonwoo, you need to go out.”

His best friends, Junhui and Minghao, had enough of his five-day slump. Staying true to his word, Wonwoo basically dropped off of the face of the earth, going off the grid. He didn’t want any human contact, save for the food delivery personnel who made it possible for him not to starve.

“Won, come on,” Minghao went to the bed, trying to shake Wonwoo awake. What Minghao didn't know was Wonwoo was awake, and was just refusing to get out.

The two were cleaning up the place full of shattered glass and broken picture frames. There were clothes strewn on the floor; some of them had punctured holes in them. There were shoes in the trash as well. Junhui could tell that Wonwoo was angry. He shot Minghao a knowing look–they have to change their approach towards Wonwoo.

“Won,” Jun tried to talk to the man lying down on the bed. “We know you're awake. Can you talk to us?”

Wonwoo honestly doesn't want to talk to anyone right now, but he was raised to not be rude to (uninvited) guests, so he got up and remained seated on the bed.

“Wonwoo…” Minghao started to come forward to at least hug his friend, but Wonwoo crossed his arms.

“I don’t need your sympathy.”

“We’re not sympathizing, dumbass,” Junhui wanted to smack some sense into Wonwoo’s head, but restrained himself. “We’re your friends, we’re here for you.”

“Don’t the ignored messages tell you that I don’t need to be with anyone right now?” Wonwoo said, each word laced with venom as he wants to send a message to his friends: _I don’t need you. Leave me alone._

Junhui sat beside Wonwoo on his bed, while Minghao sat on the other. “Come on, let it out,” the oldest of the three said, giving Wonwoo a pillow.

Without warning, Wonwoo started punching the pillow, pinching it with all his might. He started pulling it apart, breaking it, causing feathers to fly around the room. With the anger came the angry tears that kept falling. Wonwoo kept shouting “Why?!” and “You promised!”

It took too much for Junhui to not wrap Wonwoo in a tight hug. Seeing one of his best friends in that state broke his heart. This was someone he tried to shelter from any pain the world can throw at him, but the very same pain came from the one Wonwoo loved most in this world. Mingyu was Wonwoo’s first serious relationship. Everyone rooted for them to end up together. This state of Wonwoo’s was something Junhui begged to never see in his lifetime, but unfortunately, here it was.

Minghao was in pain seeing his best friend scream the questions he demanded answers to. He wanted to console Wonwoo so badly, to tell him things will eventually be okay. Raging Wonwoo was something he wasn’t ready for, but as his best friend, he needed to be here with him--he needed his friends to help him deal with the pain.

“I hate this,” Wonwoo whispered, as he started calming down. “I hate him.”

~•~•~•~•~

**_Stage 3: Bargaining_ **

_After giving you the best I’ve had, tell me what to give after that._

_From: g_

_Wonwoo, are you at the apartment?_

_Sorry for suddenly messaging. I need to get a couple of my things._

_Can I come over?_

_What the fuck._

Three weeks after the break-up, Wonwoo tried to move forward with his life. He went to work, he went out with his friends, he tried to build a semblance of normalcy that he can follow daily. The gaping hole in his heart was slowly being covered by various healthy coping mechanisms that were forced upon by his friends (because drinking and hiding in his apartment was not good, apparently).

But now, these simple text messages bring him back to the day Mingyu walked out of his life.

Sadly, Wonwoo knew he couldn't deny Mingyu his items.

_To: g_

_Yeah, I'm here Saturday. 3PM. Don't be late._

When Saturday came, Wonwoo was a nervous wreck.

He had no idea how to act when Mingyu comes, so to make the interaction as painless as possible, he already packed Mingyu's stuff in his luggages and some boxes. Everything was in place, near the door. He even cooked a bit of extra food should Mingyu want to stay for a bit (which he doubts, but a man can hope).

The doorbell rang on time.

A fresh-looking Mingyu stood outside Wonwoo's apartment, looking as handsome as ever. It reminded Wonwoo of how immediately he fell for Mingyu during that awkward birthday party Seungcheol threw for his now-husband Jihoon, which was where the two met.

_Shit._

“Can I come in?” Mingyu asked, breaking Wonwoo's trance.

“Yeah,” Wonwoo was barely able to say, and led him into the apartment.

He saw Mingyu take a sweep of the apartment, surveying the (drastic) changes Wonwoo made to the place.

“You finally moved the couch,” Mingyu commented offhandedly.

“It looked better that way,” was all Wonwoo could say.

Mingyu took his luggages and the boxes, having his friends, Vernon and Seokmin, help him with them.

“Wonwoo,” Mingyu called him.

It took so much willpower from Wonwoo to not look back at Mingyu. He replied with a simple “yes”.

“I'm sorry.”

That was it.

Wonwoo looked back to see a teary-eyed Mingyu staring at him. He wanted to hold back his tears too, but Wonwoo wasn't strong enough for that. He walked towards Mingyu, holding his hand as he got closer.

“Why?” Wonwoo whispered–almost like a plea to put him out of his misery.

“I don't know,” Mingyu replied just as softly, “but we weren't good for each other anymore, Won.”

Wonwoo now held both Mingyu's hands, looking at him, trying to beg Mingyu to look back.

“Gyu, maybe we can try again?” Wonwoo's voice cracked as he tried to get Mingyu to reconsider. “I'll be better this time, I promise.”

“I know you'll try, believe me, I'll try too,” Mingyu smiled fondly at him. “But we keep going through the same thing over and over again, Won. We'll hate each other if we don't put a stop to it.”

“Gyu–”

“This is for the best, Won,” Mingyu gently pulled his hand away from Wonwoo, wiping the tears from his eyes. “I love you too much to make you suffer again and again.”

With that, Mingyu pulled his luggage out of the apartment, leaving Wonwoo right back where he was three weeks ago.

~•~•~•~•~

**_Stage 4: Depression_ **

_No one teaches you what to do when a good man hurts you, and you know you hurt him too._

It's been two weeks since Mingyu visited Wonwoo, and he hasn't left the house since.

He filed a leave of absence from work for two weeks, citing health reasons. The truth was, all he wanted to do was stay home and not do anything at all.

He wakes up at six in the morning every day, but won't get out of bed unless he needs to pee. He would have food delivered every day because he'd be too lazy to cook. He'd try to eat, but he won't be able to finish his meals, so they end up inside his refrigerator. He would turn the TV on just so that he'd have background noise on. That was it. That was the vicious cycle every day.

Wonwoo knew that his best friends were giving him the space that he needed, and he was thankful. He wouldn't want them to see him in this shitstorm of a downward spiral. He couldn't bear to drag them down with him. Wonwoo can say that this was his lowest; nothing could trump this slump he was experiencing after the finality of his relationship with Mingyu was realized.

He kept replaying their conversation in his head–that Mingyu couldn't give him an explanation as to why he left. His head was also full of moments nearing the end of their relationship. They were fighting incessantly over the smallest things. Looking back, though, their first fight was about Mingyu overworking himself.

_“Gyu, you're working too much.”_

_“I have to, no one will finish this project on time.”_

_“Still, you have to take care of your well-being.”_

_“Wonwoo, please get off my case. I don't have time for this.”_

_“I'm the one being concerned about you, yet you're the one being an asshole. Wow, Mingyu.”_

_“Wonwoo, please. I'm begging you. Shut up.”_

Wonwoo knew that after that spat, they both started fights with each other over both big and little things. The fighting escalated to shouting matches, nights spent at friends' houses, and even silent treatment inside their own home. He saw how toxic they were to each other, and how much they hurt each other.

Was it a relationship that just went downhill? He couldn’t pinpoint the exact cause as to why their relationship just changed. It boggled him endlessly--did he do something wrong? Did Mingyu do anything wrong? Wonwoo wanted to understand–he loved Mingyu with his entire being, and he was sure that Mingyu felt the same. They both were happy with each other. It still confused the hell out of him as to why things ended the way they did.

Unfortunately, he will never find out.

For now, he succumbed to the sadness that wanted to envelop him, drowning in all the feelings that were at bay for over a month.

~•~•~•~•~

**_Stage 5: Acceptance_ **

_There’ll be happiness after you_

_But there was happiness because of you_

_Both of these things can be true_

  
  


Junhui and Minghao invited Wonwoo out to lunch, along with Seungkwan, a friend of Hao's from work. The four of them met up at Jun's favorite restaurant, which served the best curry in town.

“How did Hao convince you to come along?” Wonwoo asked Seungkwan, as it was his first time hanging out with him.

“I basically had nothing to do,” Seungkwan answered. “He asked if I wanted to join him, and I said yes.”

Jun immediately started teasing Minghao. “Look at you making new friends, I'm so proud.”

Minghao gagged at Junhui, telling him to go piss off.

Wonwoo was grateful for his best friends. They never let him feel like he was alone, or that he was a third wheel in the friend group. They made an effort to invite him out as much as they could, because they knew Wonwoo would be greeted by a lonely apartment.

It's been three months since the break up, and Wonwoo was better than ever. He sold the apartment he and Mingyu used to live in, and bought a new one. That apartment was closer to work, and nearer Jun and Hao's apartment. He started exercising more, getting a full-time membership at the gym near his place. He started going out with friends more; finally letting himself actually feel happy and know a life outside his relationship with Mingyu.

“Don’t check Instagram!”

Junhui was too late. Wonwoo already saw the post seconds before he gave his warning.

_mingyukim9: thankful for you, @ksoonyoung. I love you!_

Wonwoo expected it to hurt, but it didn’t.

Was it because he finally moved forward without looking back? He doesn’t know. The pang of pain he anticipated to come surprisingly didn’t. If anything, he was...happy.

Acceptance was something that didn’t come easy for Wonwoo. He had a hard time reconciling with himself after what happened. It probably came gradually to him that Wonwoo didn’t recognize that he was actually healing. He didn’t actively seek it, but it came.

He was happy with Mingyu. Despite the constant fights at the latter part of their relationship, he will never forget the moments that made him fall in love with him, and with life in general. From spontaneous dates to just lounging on the couch in matching pajama sets, there were a lot of moments Wonwoo treasured from his relationship with Mingyu. For a while, Wonwoo resented the entire relationship, wishing it never happened; that Mingyu should have never come into his life. However, he realized that Mingyu needed to happen to him. For whatever reason, he doesn’t know yet.

Wonwoo has come to terms that one day, he’ll be that happy again. Someday, someone will love him as much as Mingyu did. Maybe even more. Someone will come into his life and shake his entire world, dragging him forward to a new and exciting adventure. He knows that there will be life after Mingyu, and he is excited for it.

Wonwoo couldn’t help but send Mingyu a message months after that horrific end to their long relationship.

_jwonu: I’m happy for you, Gyu. I mean it. Congratulations. :)_

_mingyukim9: Thank you, Won. :)_

He knows that there will be happiness after Mingyu, but there was also happiness because of him, too. One day, Wonwoo will get to revel once more in that blissful feeling of being head over heels in love with someone else. When that day comes, Wonwoo knows better. He knows to welcome it with open arms, and bask in the warmth and the love the other person has to give.

For now, he will leave everything behind, and continue moving forward.

For there will be happiness.

**Author's Note:**

> Yell at me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/justljhthings) or on [curious cat!](https://curiouscat.me/woojiji)


End file.
